Always Here

Originally posted October 23, 2012 “When we accept each moment as a new opportunity for fulfilling our purpose, we are always present, always succeeding, always changing the world for the better.  And we are always ‘here.'” – Rabbi David A. Cooper Last Sunday was a beautiful, warm fall day.  I was, unfortunately, nursing the kind of annoying cold that isn’t enough to completely knock you out, but is enough to make everything extra feel like just a bit too much of an effort.  I was lying on the couch, watching (ok, sort of watching) football.  I was in the post-church, post-lunch, pre-getting ready for Monday morning, comfy clothes place.  This is a good place to be, even with an annoying cold. It was at this moment, that my younger son (6) and daughter (9) came bursting through the front door.  They had just been playing outside and were suddenlyunswervingly in the mood for a nature walk.  “Just a minute,” I said.  I told them to wait until the end of the game (which I was sort of watching).  They were persistent, like puppies nipping at my heels.  And I got annoyed.  I got downright crabby.  I was crabby getting my shoes on, crabby getting my keys, crabby driving to a nearby nature preserve. But as we walked, I became decidedly, well, less crabby.  As they ran, skipped, jumped, hoping to see snakes, birds, turkeys, bees nests, or maybe even just chipmunks, I began to have a little conversation in my head.  I realized that more than likely, a scene like the one playing out in front of me, two beautiful children thrilled just to be out in nature on a fabulous fall day, would have been pretty much as sweet a picture as I could have imagined before having children.  “A nature walk?”  I said to myself, “a nature walk?  Are you kidding me?  You got crabby and resentful over a nature walk?”  “Yes, but” the other part of me said, “I was tired, I don’t feel great.  And they can’t just get to do what they want the minute they want to.  Sometimes I just want to be left alone.”  The first voice said, “Look at them.  Then consider this.  They are not going to be 6 and 9 forever.  They are not always going to choose to be with you, let alone to plead to be with you. This is a moment to hold on to.  This is a memory you will keep. This is a simple joy that will slip through your fingers and be gone.  Be here.  Linger.   Let go of your resentments and be here with them.” I felt my shoulders relax.  I felt a smile slowly replace my tightened lips.  I laughed with them, found a new trail with them, and returned home with them, grateful to them for pulling me out of myself to be with them, now.  Because now is what counts.

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