Up North

Originally posted March 31, 2013

Ok, so I’m going to cheat a bit.  It is Easter after all, and I am enjoying the day of rest with my family.  Which actually has a lot to do with what I want to post- a page from my journal, dated March 26th.   Our family went up north to the family cabin and enjoyed some time away from the “everydayness” of life.  Here are some thoughts on the last full day there:

Right now I just want to sit and bask in this simple moment.  We have taken a few days to be up at the cabin, and to have an “electronic detox.”  No TV/ movies, no Wii/ Mario, no internet/email/Facebook.  But the “nos” have not had as much impact as what we have done.  We have played games, played outside, had snowball fights, met a neighbor, gone on nature walks, talked, laughed, been quiet, read, and rested.

It’s quiet right now.  Dan and Harry are out for a walk.  Chuck and Maggie are upstairs in the loft, reading.  Occasional comments float down to me…

I have this sense of calm.  Right now, in this moment.  Calm, and gratitude.

It has not been perfect, or tidy, or all of everything that any one of us may have wanted.  But it has been completely what we have needed.  I needed this, I realize.  I needed this to see that when I am stressed, exhausted and overwrought, it does not always mean thatI need to take a break from everyone and everything. Sometimes it means that we need a break, together, from the routine and the static and chatter of everyday life. 

It’s nothing magical.  It does not need to be a big, sweeping gesture, not a plane ride to a beach somewhere (not saying that wouldn’t be nice someday).  It can be a simple drive, a few fleeting moments.  Nothing radical, but big in its own way.

It’s big because I think they will remember some moments from these days.  I hope they will.  I hope they remember a trip to our neighbor Ernie’s house to bring homemade cookies as a thank-you for plowing out our driveway, so we could get in; and his giving us a tour of his property, including his shed where he recently build an apple press, and inviting us to walk his trails full of all kinds of wildlife, anytime.  I hope they remember Dan’s “trivia games” at dinner time, designed to help them learn more about our families, their heritage.  I hope they remember our all busting out laughing at the silliest things, but truly laughing, together, as a family.  I hope they remember and treasure these things.  I know I will.

I wish I could stretch this time out just a little longer.  I wish we were not leaving tomorrow.  But I will refuse to live in the “if-only” and will embrace the “what-is.”  And what is, right now, is this moment of calm, of rest, of renewal.  And not just for me, but for Dan and for our family.  That is priceless.

“I say to myself ‘ The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.  It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.'” -Lamentations 3:24-26

“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” – Psalm 16:11


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Filed under Examining life, parenting

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